Don't buy from us this Mother's Day

Mother's Day is this weekend.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've likely noticed the flood of sales emails promising the perfect Mother’s Day gift to "spoil her" or "show her just how much you care".

With the exception of us.

We're a Mum & Baby Brand... you'd think we'd be all over this sales event like icing on a cake. So why the absence?

But before I explain why, I need to take you back in time.

About 8 years ago, I was knee-deep in the 4th Trimester of my first baby when Mother's Day rolled around. Honestly, I can't even recall what my husband bought that year. Probably a bunch of flowers? My memory's fuzzy, likely due to the newborn-induced haze rather than the gift's lack of memorability. The day was pleasant, and my husband did his best to make me feel special.

For my second Mother's Day, we had just relocated interstate. Pregnant with baby number 2, juggling full-time work in Emergency, and money was tight. My husband's new job, the reason for our upheaval, was delayed. My 'little side hustle' of a business went into hibernation as we struggled to make ends meet.

But let's get back to Mother's Day.

Admittedly, there were logistical challenges aplenty. As Mother's Day morning dawned, I stumbled home exhausted from a night shift, only to find... nothing. It dawned on my husband then that he had completely forgotten the occasion, and he felt terrible. While I showered, the front door closed, leaving silence in its wake. An hour later, he returned... with an expensive cake mixer.

It was a lovely gesture, I suppose. I did want a cake mixer eventually. But for Mother's Day? And so much on an appliance at a time when the budget was already stretched. I could tell he was scrambling to compensate for the last-minute purchase, knowing he had missed the mark.

Fast forward through a few more hit-and-miss Mother's Day gifts, and it all boiled over into a sleep-deprived outburst sometime after baby number 4.

I was tired of feeling like an afterthought on someone's to do list. Mothers Day had slowly become a day I'd rather pretend didn't exist. 

But then, In the midst of my self-pity… it hit me. 

In a moment of clarity it occurred to me that Mother's Day isn't about me at all. It never has been.

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking it is, especially in those early baby years when your Little Human is entirely dependent, unable to walk or talk. Someone else has to take the reins when it comes to gift-giving. A partner, perhaps a grandparent or a friend, steps in. Hopefully, you receive a lovely gift, maybe even a break from mum duties. 

And then, a few years later your baby turns 3.

Three-year-olds are extraordinary creatures. It's one of my favourite ages. They drive you absolutely mad one minute and melt your heart the next. And if your three-year-old is anything like mine were, they have opinions and aren't afraid to share them.

Mother's Day number 3 is where the shift in gift duties is supposed to begin. But nobody tells us this. It's time for the 3-year-olds to take charge. Stick with me...

In that moment of clarity, I realised that Mother's Day is an opportunity for my husband to teach our children how to make someone feel special through the art of gift-giving.

It's not about him buying the gift for them, handing it to them wrapped on Sunday morning to give to me. It's a golden opportunity to teach kids to find ways to make someone feel special. Who better for them to practise on than the person who is the centre of their universe?

When I finally managed to articulate this to my husband, it was like a lightbulb went off, and he finally got it. The following year, he understood the assignment. His job was to guide them, not buy for them. It didn't really matter what the end gift was, just that there was care and thought in choosing it.

The next Mother's Day was a little different, and this time I remember exactly what I got.

The excitement in our house was palpable. You could almost mistake it for Christmas morning.

My son proudly presented me with a new thermal drink bottle. You see, the lid of my old one was a bit broken, the exterior peeling, and I had been complaining about it constantly.

Then it was my daughter's turn, and she gave me a candle. This was during her 'everything must be pink' phase. But this beautiful candle wasn't in a pink box. It was in a green one. Can you guess what my favourite colour is?

But the best gift of all? The sheer delight on their faces as they explained all about their gift.

I got intricate details about other ideas (yes, there was indeed a candle in a pink box), the decision-making process for the final choice, and how much they truly loved me.

As the years have passed, discussion in our house around Mother's Day is mostly driven by them. It's full of hints and teasing about what they might get me, and they genuinely get excited. I'm pleased to report that the quality of gifts also improves as they grow older.

So, while the businesswoman in me knows that this is a peak marketing event for any brand in the Mum & Baby space, the Mother in me cannot in good conscience promote waterproof sheets for babies and toddlers as a Mother’s Day Gift - as brilliant as they are.

I wish all the Mums a wonderful day this Sunday. I hope you are made to feel special in a way that truly matters to you.